A divorce can be devastating to the spouse who didn't see it coming. In your case, it was you. You thought your spouse seemed to be drifting lately, but you believed they were tired from work. Now, you're aware that they've been staying late to visit their lawyers' offices and to make sure they're prepared for the divorce ahead of you.
It's devastating to believe that your spouse wouldn't talk to you about being unhappy before turning to a divorce, so you'd like to contest it. Trying to contest the divorce won't stop it, though. In many cases, even those who do go through couples counseling or mediation end up going through a divorce.
If your spouse has already made the choice to go through divorce, you will want to contact your attorney right away. Here are three more ways to help cope with the sudden surprise of a divorce.
1. Take some time away
To start with, take some time away. Stay home from work, get away for the weekend or visit friends or family. Take your mind off the divorce until you can regroup your thoughts.
2. Try to avoid conflict
The next thing to do is to try to avoid conflict. The more aggressive and angry you are, the less likely it is that you'll make good decisions during the divorce. You may want to go to therapy or find other ways of grounding yourself before speaking with your spouse.
3. Prepare with your attorney
Finally, talk to your attorney and prepare. Knowing what to expect will help you in the coming weeks.
These are three tips to help you cope with divorce. The right help will make a difference.