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How to foster a sense-of-stability in children after divorce

As adults, we try our hardest to do what we feel is best for our children. We save for their education, choose organic over regular and even stay in a love-less marriage longer than we should. Every action, decision and choice is inextricably connected to the image of our children. We want them to be happy and they want us to be happy.

Divorce can be one of the hardest and most defining moments in a child’s life. Out of the many changes felt and experienced, it is normal to want to ensure your children remain as intact as possible. This means fostering a continual sense of love and security in their lives despite the introduction of new living arrangements and co-parenting plans.

Love is spelled T-I-M-E

One of the best ways to manage the instability divorce brings is by giving your child your full attention whenever they are in your presence. Their young hearts and minds are developing a paradigm of trust in relationships that is modeled by your interaction with them. When you invest your full attention to the moment at-hand, it shows they matter. You instill a sense of security in the fact that they are the most important thing to you.

Consistency creates stability

Consistency is something all new parents are familiar with when it comes to establishing a sleep routine and discipline plan. It is also key when developing your child’s inner calm throughout the storm and debris of divorce. Keeping your promises and scheduled pick-ups are extremely important for children. They need to know they can depend on you despite the changes taking place. Whatever your parenting responsibilities are as a divorced parent, try to follow through on them as best as possible.

It is never too late to start investing in quality communication, time and activity with your child. Many times, the smallest effort can bring about the greatest results. Divorce doesn’t mean your love is divorced from your children. Your actions will support a sense of security and trust in your relationship and the dynamics of divorce.

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